


A Kinkmeme Christmas Gift

by Hyululu



Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, happy chrasmas, it's a poem, marry crambly, merry crisis, silliness don't mind me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 07:33:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7499544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyululu/pseuds/Hyululu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas poem for the WM Kinkmeme because shut up</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Kinkmeme Christmas Gift

T'was the night before Christmas, and not a thing was afoul  
And nothing was stirring, except for the owls;  
Shady night deals had been finished with care  
And now a pile of drugs were placed in the chair;  
Loose ends were tied up, rival gangs were all dead  
Most of them got a gun to the head;  
With my ho wearing nothing, and I drinking a nightcap  
We had just settled in for a romp in the sack;  
When up on the roof there arose such a clatter,  
I grabbed for my gun to see what was the matter;  
Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash;  
The cocaine in my brain made things clear as a bell,  
So I knew when I saw them that I was in hell;  
For there, to my drug-addled eyes did appear,  
Two men wearing masks, using grappling gear;  
One small and compact, so lively and quick  
The other in kevlar, and his gut a bit thick;  
More rapid than eagles these vigilantes they came,  
RRAAAARRLing and punching, and they knew me by name;  
"Gimmick," one said, his voice a rasp in my ear,  
"Been very, very bad this year."  
The owl man laughed at this terrible pun  
And kicked at my hand, I lost my grip on my gun;  
I could hear my ho screaming, and then faint on the floor  
But I couldn't care less cuz she was just a dumb whore;  
Rorschach and Nite Owl beat the crap outta me  
Then hog-tied me with ribbon, to add insult to injury;  
I thrashed and I screamed and I foamed at the mouth,  
But Rorschach just kicked me in the 'deep-south';  
And while I was clenching my legs in despair,  
The two of them left via the emergency stair;  
Outside I could hear a strange droning hum,  
And above that, a voice, saying, "Criminal scum."  
The owl man laughed again and declared  
That there were jobs to be done, and lives to be spared;  
So the two of them climbed into a strange flying ship  
And its door closed behind them with a *woosh* and a *click*;  
But I heard one exclaim as they flew out of sight,  
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"  
  
And also a faint, "Hurm."


End file.
